Now, everyone knows how obsessed I am with Photography…although, I suppose it’s a good thing considering I’m working my way towards a full-time career doing just that. But, I must admit that I have very strong feelings and doubts towards every photograph I take. It’s too grainy looking or it’s too bland, the image just looks rubbish compared to *so and so’s* work and nothing like how I wanted it to look. It sucks! My work sucks! Why do I suck?!

Blah, Blah, Blahhhh!! I’m sick of feeling so down about everything and worried about what other people think of my work. I’m young! I’m experimenting! Every single day I learn something new! Photography is such a dynamic and progressive art that requires you to learn and develop a very technical skill. Some people genuinely believe that it’s nothing more than picking up a camera and capturing a great shot. It’s not! Believe me, It’s not!

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When I was a child, I loved to draw. I loved to write stories and make up imaginary games. Art Attack was one of my favourite programs and although my finished product’s looked anything but how it looked on Art Attack, I tried. I created. I guess I was destined to follow the creative path with my career and although it’s possibly one of the hardest paths to have chosen, I wouldn’t change it for the world. It might not be easy but I know that when I eventually get to my destination and I look at how far I’ve come, I know I will feel nothing but pride, self-respect and happiness that I achieved it through sheer hard work and determination. So, to anyone who believes that knocking my confidence and criticising my skill will lead to me giving up, you are wasting your time. I know that there is going to be tough times ahead, I know I’ll make mistakes along the way and I know you might not agree with everything I do, but, in all honestly, I don’t care what you think. I’m not doing this for anybody else, other than myself!

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Anyway, when I first discovered my passion for Photography, it was in my second year of College. In first year I chose to study Art & Design where we covered topics such as Fine Art, Textiles, Graphics and Photography. When we got to second year, we had to choose our final ‘area’ to study. I decided to choose the Graphic Design and Photography class, despite wanting to just focus on Graphics (I wanted to be a magazine layout designer) at that time. After a few Photography lessons it didn’t take me long to realise how much I loved taking photos. It was actually down to an Alice in Wonderland themed shoot with my friend Ellie, where I really fell in love with it. I think it just suddenly dawned on me that with a camera and a creative mind, I could achieve anything I wanted!

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So, leaving college and entering the ‘adult’ world of hope, opportunities and disappointment, I set about on my quest to a career in Photography. I decided not to go to University, to be honest, it never really appealed to me. Maybe the night life a little, but the thought of all that debt and wasting my time learning about things that I could be learning from a professional just didn’t make any sense to me. I’ve always been more of a hands on learner anyway, so I knew sitting in a classroom just wasn’t for me. I ended up spending my first year out of college working at the same place I worked in college. Except, I was working more hours, developing my confidence and leadership skills, plus getting paid for it as well. During my second year, I managed to get a job photographing babies and children for a company in Manchester, I booked in 2 weddings to photograph, plus I started applying for internships and jobs in places such as London, Ireland and New York. Unfortunately, I never really got anywhere with the job hunt, I mean, I had a few replies, offers of a 4 week Internship, so long as I could pay the £3000 price tag that came with it! Down and depressed, I juggled both my Manchester photography job as well as my team leader job for another year after that.IMG_1011

I then decided to create and develop my own business due to the disappointment and rejection from other job applications as well as the Manchester Photography company I was working for. Little Photography Studio was created and the jobs flooded in. I was photographing Weddings, Children, Babies and Family’s and I was loving it. I soon realised that eventually I wanted to quit my other jobs and work for myself. Of course, this is still a big dream of mine, but, hopefully one day it’ll be a reality!

Last year, I decided it was time to leave my Team Leader position at the same place I’d worked since college. I was becoming depressed and fed up of where I was at in life and I knew it had to change. So I spent the first half of last year job hunting. Day after day, night after night. I wasn’t even that bothered that most of my applications didn’t involve Photography, I just had to get away from bar work and banqueting. And I did it! Not only did I get a job in The Fragrance Shop, but I also got another job as a Photographer at a Makeover Studio in Manchester. Finally, I was getting somewhere!

And now? Well, at this moment in time I’m just enjoying being happy and healthy. I know that sounds a little cliché but last year I said goodbye to a very important man in my life and I’ve realised that no matter how rich or successful you are, you can leave this world at any point. That’s it. You can’t take your money or your personal belongings with you, so why spend your life worrying about it all? Of course, I’m not going to be a shop assistant for the rest of my life, nor am I going to be a Photographer at a makeover studio for the rest of my life but for now, I’m happy. I’m spending time valuable with my family and friends, I’m enjoying being a blogger and the opportunities that come with it, I’m enjoying being able to spend my evenings sat in watching the TV, meeting up with friends and organising shoots with my fellow photography geeks. So yes, I may be 23 and still unsure on what to do next, I might not have as much sitting in my bank as I’d have hoped for at this age but, I’m enjoying life. I’m enjoying being alive!

Cover LPS 2So, I’ve decided to not be so hard on myself with my Photography as of this year. I’m my own worst critic so I do tend to get a little upset and depressed when things don’t work out how I’d hoped but, I’ve learnt that whatever happens, happens. We usually have no say with what life decides to throw at us, and maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe it’s the unknown that gets us through the day, the excitement that gets us through life and our dreams that gives us a purpose. I know that life will work out hows it’s suppose to. I have faith in the world, I have faith in my dreams and I have faith in myself.

And in the words of my beautiful mama “Whatever will be, will be”

xoxo

Sincerely, Sophie x

*Photographs are all my own. Taken from my Photography website, Little Photography Studio*